Watch Out For That...
Bill
I’d won a radio contest. It was the first time I’d really won any contest. Well, I guess I did win that bingo game which is sort of a contest. Regardless I was the first to answer correctly the day the music died to Burt on the Burt show on 98.7 and now we’re going skiing. I got home and surprised Kit Kat with a pair of tickets I printed off the internet.
Kit Kat
I’ve never been more excited in my adult life! I was once more excited in my teen life, but that was when I got my braces off, and you can’t compare any emotions to the ones you feel on that day. This was a close second. I was so thrilled Bill has won us a day of fun on the slopes! Good thing I bought us those his and her matching snow suits. We got lots of use out of them around town, but now they would get to really do what they were built to do.
Bill
The lift tickets were for Brighton so we knew we were in good hands. We signed up for some introductory classes to get our feet wet. Well, hopefully not wet. Dry. Dry in boots. Dry, but cramped and rigid in boots. Our teacher was a barrel chested older gentleman named Phoelix. He was brusque and charmless, but yet I still immediately fell bromantically in love with him.
Kit Kat
PHOELIX!!! What a man. A man’s man, and woman’s man! He shook the fear right out of us and got us going right away. We skipped over some of the essentials, and moved on to an intermediate hill. It was a blue square slope with a 12 minute chair lift ride. The entire way up, Phoelix chanted in our ears. He was like a coach and cheerleader combined. “Snow is a go!” “The hill has eyes” “be the wind”. It was such a rush, I felt like Bill and I were on the way to bringing home the olympic gold!
Bill
I was completely smitten. While Phoelix had been talking ski styles and braking procedures I’d been daydreaming about what he likes to eat at a super bowl or rose bowl or orange bowl party. I snapped out of it when I spread-eagled out of the chair lift and into a drift. Phoelix and I both had a good chuckle about it and I got to firmly grasp his forearm, gladiator style when he helped me up. So, basically, net-gain. He hollered something about wind in your eyes over his shoulder as he ripped off down the hill and I had no choice but to follow, and lo and behold, Kit Kat was already half way down.
Kit Kat
WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Oh good lord on high, I have never felt that kind of exhilaration before! I honestly don’t think I opened my eyes the entire time I was skiing, and I didn’t need to. I felt each bump, each curve. I knew when another skier was in my way, and instinctively felt which way to lean. It was an out of body experience, that’s what it was! For a moment I even felt like I was up in a tree looking down on myself flying through the powdery obstacle course. I didn’t know if Bill was in front of me, or behind me, but I knew he would so proud of my new found talent and lust for the game.
Bill
I knew immediately, instinctually that Kit was in trouble. She was screaming at the top of her lungs barreling down the hill. I tucked real low and tried to catch up as fast as I could, but good lord she was blazing. At one point, she even got air. Mad air. She was thirty, forty feet in the air and just screaming. She came down literallyin a tree. She hung there amidst the limbs for a second seemingly at peace, and then came tumbling down end over end and landed skis down and just kept on zipping. I’ve literally never seen anything like that in my adult life.
Kit Kat
The doctors said they couldn’t believe I was alive. I had 4 compound fractures and a bruised liver. Luckily some teen was taping the entire circus show and immediately posted it to youtube so we could all have a good laugh in the ER. Phoelix was kind enough to come with us and support Bill in the waiting room, while I had my arms and legs put into their new plaster homes. I’m not sure how I saw this adventure ending but I’d be lying if I didn’t think this were one option. Bill knew I was clumsy but also knew I loved to try new things. Like the time we ate
Eel at my cousin’s sushi party. Woof.