Toy Story
Bill: I had just gotten back to Cheers to You. I’d stepped out for a few minutes to run to the pharmacy to settle a bet. Kit Kat was insisting that there was a size B battery that was used in only specific electronics. I figured the only way to settle the matter was to go a store and buy A, AA, C, and D batteries and lay them out in front of her. As it turns out, I might have been better off having her come along. I laid all the batteries out and Kit Kat still insisted that we were missing one. She said she had a very specific memory of a B cell battery:
Kit Kat: When I was a child my father worked in a toy factory. It was so magical, I often thought in my heart of hearts...that he was actually Santa Claus. He would come home early every friday night with a new toy that he made in the shop that day. Something no other child had yet to see. Something just for me. We had a shelf in our pasta pantry that was designated only for batteries. We went through them like a marathon runner goes through socks. We would buy batteries whenever we could and dump them into the storage bin, because we never knew when one of the new toys would need new juice.
Bill:
The toy in question that Kit Kat remembered needing B batteries was an old automated friend doll that her father had invented. This was long before Furby and long before Siri, this thing was the bleeding edge. Kit Kat described it as a cross between a super smart computer program and your friend you grew up with down the street. It was called Friendo and could be programmed by the parents with all the important details about a child and then develop it’s own personality with that knowledge. Friendo ran off B batteries.
Kit Kat:
After helping move my parents from my childhood home to their new chilli farm in Arizona, I was left with multiple memento boxes. I was brought tears holding all of my childhood toys, photos and memories. At the bottom of the box...as if no time had passed was my dearest Friendo. “FRIENDO!” I cried. She didn’t respond...she just stared directly into my eyes with the most cold, dead eyes i’d ever seen, not on a fish. I couldn’t understand how my dear old friend could look at me as if I meant nothing..as if I were a stranger! After calling my father and interrupting him from his chilli plucking, he told me that Friendo wasn’t ignoring me...she was just out of juice! B juice!
Bill:
I understood immediately what Kit Kat was going through when she described seeing her robo-pal look at her like a stranger. I remember when my imaginary friend Midas stopped coming around- it was heart breaking. If I could do something to keep Kit from feeling that pain I’d do whatever I could. Friendo needed juice and we had to find it for her. I started racking my brain to think about other energy sources for a robotic companion and then- like a bolt of lighting, I had it- lightning! Like Frankenstein’s monster we would awaken Friendo… like… Frankenstein’s monster. I was already getting my pipes warmed up for the “It’s alive!” part.
Kit Kat:
Bill was so good to me. He knew how much it meant to me to bring Friendo to her feet once more, and possibly all in one swoop, the science experiment might just peak the interest of Midas! Who knew! We set up a nearby park for the experiment. Table with a rusty lever to raise a plank up to a higher level. A fire extinguisher, a camera, and a bucket of chicken wings. Just to eat. We waited at the park until the latest storm got cookin. Oh boy was it a big one. The weather center was calling it a “stay inside” level warning. It was brewin, we were chanting, I even drew a grey streak in my hair to really get into character. I love roleplaying.
Bill:
I will let you all in on a bit of scientific discovery we had that night: lightning is dangerous. Dangerous and awesome. Mostly awesome. 85% awesome and 100% dangerous. Regardless, we got everything strapped down and wired up and got to waiting. We didn’t have long to wait, maybe two, three minutes. Lightning struck, not once but twice and in the same place no less! This did however… spell the end of Friendo. As it turns out her tiny little plastic body couldn’t handle mother nature’s fully unleashed power. She started spewing spark out of her eyes and mouth and singing a little diddy, all in all a lovely way to say goodbye to an electronic companion. she left life the way she entered…
Kit Kat:
If Midas hasn’t shown up after the storm cleared...I am not sure i would have been able to keep it together. Bill, Midas and I all held hands and said a lovely prayer for Friendo. We ate the remaining chicken wings under a tree near the explosion and laughed about childhood memories, and all of our risks with fire and weather. I think we all agreed that Friendo lived a loving and purposeful life, and that B batteries are indeed...not an actual thing. I have to call my dad.