Middle Managers Make the Best Drinkers

 

Yes, yeah, I got one. It was- god- it was years ago at this point. Wait- no, this was last week. I was here having a little sipper and heard these to two folks chatting in a corner. I snuck over pretending I was fiddling with the TV. I even asked them if they had anything they wanted to watch- slick!

 

They were talking about dreams they had when they were kids I think:

 

Green Shirt: This is it. This is what I wanted.

Slacks: You’re kidding- you’re messing with me.

Green Shirt: No way, hand to God.

Slacks: You expect me to believe that when you were a child, a kid, a rambunctious tike, you wanted to be a middle manager?

Green Shirt: Yessir! Even back then I wasn’t interested in having a ton of, like, responsibility.

Slacks: Sure, because you were a child, but you didn’t want to be a racecar driver or a firefighter or anything?

Green Shirt: Nope! Always pictured myself in a Joseph A Bank suit and Payless faux leather dress shoes getting into work at 8:30 and leaving by 5:15. Are you judging me right now?

Slacks: … Yeah… but I guess I’m no better off… I’m in the same position but I still daydream about being a professional skydiver…

Green Shirts: The benefit of low expectations my friend, fewer disappointments.

Slacks: I’ll drink to that- Do you ever want to go skydiving sometime?

Green Shirt: Sure! Oh wait- No, I’m afraid of heights.

Slacks: … I need new friends.

 

 They sat there in silence for a few minutes and then got back to chatting about the Jazz. I walked away and immediately called the volunteer fire department, so yeah, that’s why I can’t hang out on Saturday, I’ve got fireman training… class.