I Want Your Vote

Story by Bill

 

It was open mic night. Sort of. It was an open mic night for me. I’d brought a microphone and a speaker and was singing some songs I’d written and playing some instruments I’d made. I was getting some great feedback from the crowd at Cheers to You, mostly negative feedback, but feedback nonetheless.

 

After I’d rounded out my set and brought my AV setup back out the car, I was approached by a mysterious gentleman. He said that he would very much like to represent me. I was shocked, flabbergasted, and mystified.

 

I immediately offered to buy him some fine spirits and he politely declined- saying he never drinks on the job, but he was thankful. I tried to play it real, real cool, so I leaned way back in my stool and pretended to yawn and slowly, oh so slowly, put my arm around him.

 

We were both kind of surprised and slowly, oh so slowly, brought my arm back around to rest on the bar. I decided to go for a different, more direct tack and I just asked him flat-out:

 

“What do you see in me?”

“A potential vote.” he said.

 

I was… dead. I’ve never misjudged so badly.

 

“This is just some local yahoo running for an elected office” I hollered to the bar at wide.

“... on The Voice…” he said.

 

“A potential vote getter on The Voice or American Idol… Maybe I was wrong, I thought maybe you were ready for the big time, but not with an attitude like this. Have a good evening."

 

 At that, he grabbed his top hat and begin a leisurely stroll to the door. Had I mentioned that he’d had a top hat the whole time? I should have known that guy was going to be more trouble than he was worth.